I just rode 5 miles down the road to the little country market to get a few things for dinner.
My brother-in-law is staying with us tonight & I wanted to make him a good homecooked meal. I picked up steak, potatoes to mash, canned sweet corn & Pillsbury crescent rolls (yes, the pop, roll, & bake kind…don’t judge, it’s the best we can do with where we are in life right now lol) So, I guess not entirely homemade but made with love nonetheless.
I got in line at the checkout behind a very pregnant young woman. She was looking full term & tired. The cashier lady with her short gray curly hair & denim bib overalls with a logo patch on the chest pocket that said “Liberty Overalls” had kindly struck up conversation with her about her baby & one thing led to another & I fully tuned in as the young expectant mother said she preferred a gifted meal rather than baby items. She said that was the best gift her and her growing family could receive! Something she could keep in the freezer and pop in the oven as needed. She went on to say that they had everything they needed for the baby & would kindly accept food as she knew she would be giving all her time to a new baby and not to preparing meals.
I thought back to my mother bringing me frozen casseroles when I had my first child. How helpful it was to get them out of the freezer and follow the easy instructions that had been sticky noted to the tin foil covered frozen casserole in a disposable foil pan. I greatly appreciated the foil because there was no pressure to return a dish which I had a terrible habit of hording & forgetting from all those who had given us food/leftovers in the past.
Once upon a time I made a birthday cake for a friend in one of my favorite pans. A long while later I asked if I could get the pan back to which he replied that his roommate had thrown it away. I was a little heartbroken about it. But I had only myself to blame lol.
Moral of the story is – it’s best to just make things in disposables or in a dish that you don’t care to get back.
Another memory coming to mind is when my father passed away, a kind lady brought us food in a beautiful dish. She very soon after giving it, called wanting me to bring her the dish back. At a time when my family was going through so much & making a lot of difficult decisions, I was asked to deliver her dish back to her. I remember I didn’t know her & had trouble finding her house. Although it may be incredibly nice to make someone a meal it is not so polite to call and demand them to deliver the dish back. You should, at the very least, offer to pick up the dish.
I once read of a woman who would thrift casserole dishes just to give food to others. She would attach a note to keep the dish and encourage them to pass it on to someone in need someday, with a meal inside, as she did for them. I love this & am so inspired by the idea. One day when I am in a more stable living situation, I hope to do more of this. Right now, I am more on the receiving end of things. When you are a young family starting out, it can be difficult to get established & more established people know this, as they too had to start somewhere. I think that’s why they offer so much help & thank God for that.
“41 And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny.[a] 43 And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. 44 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”
Mark 12:41-44
There is always something that we can do for others no matter what stage of life we are in. Even if you had not a thing to your name. No money. No belongings. No nothing. You can always pray for others or offer a hand or ear. Just being there for someone is sometimes more than any physical gift. Fully there. Mentally and physically. These days I feel like someone can physically be there, but their attention is elsewhere like in a smart phone. To me, if you are constantly scrolling on your phone, you aren’t fully there in the moment. I see this a lot lately when I am with other friends & family. Put down your phone & talk to the people around you! Listen to the people around you. It may seem silly to even bring this up, but this is a real problem I see today. I dare you to take notice. I am willing to bet you will see what I am talking about.
I am just as guilty as anyone & it is something that I am actively working on daily. But I hope by sharing this, you too will take notice & accountability.
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.2 “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”
Matthew 6:1-4
I challenge you to show up for someone today. Do something for someone & don’t expect anything in return. Don’t expect praise or publicity. Because God sees what you do & He knows your heart.
Pray and think about someone in your life who could use help. It could be something as simple as handwriting a card & mailing it, or an encouraging text to let a friend know that you are there for them. It could be something like bringing by a basket of groceries, or home goods. Don’t just offer to do something for someone, actually do something! Many people would never admit to wanting help &, like me, would never ask. If someone asks if they can do something for me, I usually just thank them & say we are doing okay but thank you for offering. When really, I want to say “YES!! SOS!! THANK YOU!!!!!”. I don’t want to be a burden & so if you ever wanted to do something for me, just do it. Because 9/10 I’m not going to tell you if I need help.
For example: when I had my children, many people would say “just let me know if we can do anything for you” & I understand that they probably mean well but it’s literally my pet peeve…It’s like something that people just say to seem kind. If you genuinely want to do something…just do it. That is the way I see it. If you are reading this and it offends you, I sincerely apologize because that is not my intent at all. I simply want to shed light on the fact that we throw “kindness” around but are not sincere about it. “I will pray for you” & never pray. “How are you” & not really meaning it. It’s like empty conversation. Meant to appear kind but is anything but. It’s embedded deep in our traditions to converse in this way. & the bible says its wrong.
“And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.”
Matthew 5:33-37 MSG
If you are someone that genuinely means it when you say the above statement to someone, then I challenge you to just do something for someone instead of asking for permission to do something. (Or at least pray about it).
If it is out of fear that you won’t bring the right food, or that you will overstep then maybe you need to reword how you *ask* if you can help. If you want to bring food to someone don’t say:
“Let me know if I can bring you a meal”
Say- “I would really like to bring you a meal, would you like A, B, or C.” (give choices)
Or if you don’t want to ask – give a gift card for a fast-food restaurant in a card. The only reason I’m recommending fast-food restaurants here is because when someone is in the thick of it, fast-food is easy, quick, doesn’t have to be ordered in advance, & they don’t have to get out of their car to get it. Don’t over think it when it comes to a gift card…look at what places are close to whoever you are gifting it to & just choose one. There are many choices of food at any given restaurants and chances are they can get something they want from any place you choose.
My hope is that this post inspires you to start praying about serving others daily. To hopefully open your eyes to how to serve others & how important it is to God that we love & serve one another.
I prayed for the young pregnant woman in front of me in line at the country market that day & am thankful God used her in that moment to speak to me & teach me.
“7Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7
“Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.” Luke 6:30
“And he answered them, “Whoever has two tunics[a] is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise.” Luke 3:11
“You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake.” Deuteronomy 15:10
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer;
another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.
Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,
and one who waters will himself be watered.” Proverbs 11:24-25
“Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:33-34
