I find myself going in and out of spiritual consciousness. The world pulls me in & I constantly fight against it. But no matter how hard I fight it, I fail. I cave. I give in.

I can feel a raging war all around me in the spiritual realm.  Every day, I stand in spiritual battle but fail to show up in full armor. There is much I don’t understand about the unseen realm but I acknowledge its existence & believe that there is so much going on spiritually in our daily lives that is beyond our comprehension.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 16:12

If I let my guard down for a moment…I am sucked right back into temptation, buying into the lies of the enemy, losing sight of my identity & calling in Christ & giving way to the ways of the world that look so attractive but leave me unfulfilled & longing & just lost.

I tussle with wanting more for myself. To be thinner, to be more beautiful in appearance, to have trendier clothes (that actually fit), to have a bigger & nicer house that looks like it belongs on Pinterest or in a magazine, to be known, to be liked.

At the root of all of these things is selfishness and vain conceit.

I desire so desperately to be transformed by the spirit. To want less for myself & more for others, looking not for my own interests but for the interests of others. I desire to grow spiritually so that I can resist evil & fight back against it.

“My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.”

― C.S. Lewis

I rebuke the evil influences that seek to deceive & devour me.

They are diligent & persistent. They surround us daily, constantly.

They attack our weakest points.

We must acknowledge our weaknesses & fully surrender them to God. We must acknowledge our shortcomings & repent from our sin.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

We must have the Holy Spirit in our hearts to guide, inspire, warn us, give discernment, & ultimately protect us from evil.

& remember that EVERY KNEE bows at the name of Jesus, Yeshua Hamashiach [Hebrew for Jesus the Messiah] (I watched a YouTube video to learn how to pronounce it), in heaven & on earth, & under the earth, & every tongue confesses that Jesus Christ is Lord! Philippians 2:10-11

So if you ever feel like an evil influence is messing with you, rebuke it in Jesus name! It/they have to flee.

A pastor once told me that the only way a demonic entity could mess with a Christian is if you haven’t repented from sin (they attack our weakness). Repent & rebuke in the name of Yeshua Hamashiach. I could write so much more about this but I’m going to save it for another post. -no one wants to talk about the unseen realm & demonic influence all around us but I believe it is something we need to be aware of & educate ourselves on how to fight back!

It’s so easy to shoot off scripture and say frilly words than it is to actually apply it all in our daily difficult lives.

Like what does it mean to be still & spend time with God?

Well, for me, it means turning off Netflix & spending time reading the bible. If that is just impossible for you then start by watching something like The Chosen on Netflix (it’s a little slow at first but stick with it, trust me, you will be so glad you did). It may be helpful for you to watch the Bible instead of read it at first. That could be a tv show like The Chosen or maybe YouTube videos about the Bible or listening to a preacher on YouTube (pray & use discernment when learning this way). You could download the bible app & simply tap through the daily prayer & prompts, purchase a devotional that fits what season of life you are in (for me it’s motherhood trenches, give me all the motherhood devotionals).

But I’m also just gunna come right out & say it – discipline yourself & do hard things! Tough love, but I’ve been here before! I open my Bible & read one sentence & think “this is so boring….I want to watch a movie or scroll on Instagram instead” It’s like I only reach for mindless entertainment that doesn’t require me to think or challenge myself.

How are we to ever grow if we don’t push ourselves, set goals, read, listen, or write.

Anything worth doing is not easy & often times not the most enjoyable thing. Maybe you are like me & have to grow & learn to love reading the Word. Just like I had to learn to love my stay-at-home mom job. Just because something isn’t enjoyable at first doesn’t mean it isn’t worth your time & attention.

In this modern age we seem stuck in a wrong mindset of “its all about me, what makes ME happy, what is going to serve ME, get ME ahead faster, ME ME ME ME & NOW NOW NOW!!!!!

We have got to break free from this evil mindset. This totally goes against what the Bible teaches.

I’m not saying don’t take care of yourself. To never do anything for you, but just acknowledge that it isn’t all about us.

Besides, if you truly cared about doing what is best for YOU, you would spend time with the Lord on a daily basis because that is the best self-care you could ever do for yourself- growing in spiritual wisdom. & I am in no way saying that if you feel like crap & your life is falling apart at the seams that this is going to fix all your problems. That isn’t the truth. Although I wish it was.  Noone is exempt from the pain & trials of this life. But our faith is what gets us through it, what brings us peace & joy even when our life is falling apart at the seams because we know that it isn’t forever. Our forever is free from pain, trials, heartache, depression, anxiety, & sickness.

We can endure temporarily because we know who holds our forever & what our forever holds.

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18